It will be the last, Mike.  To the pain!

Luckily for me, your counter-plot involving cow flatulence proved to be just as much a distraction to the unwashed masses as my kitten-to-bee-swarm conversion.  So I was able to use the canopy of chaos to hold up a liquor store anyway, just as I’d planned!  Well, I was going to hold it up.  I ended up just buying some gum.  And a gas mask.  And some of that teriyaki beef jerky.  You know, the kind in the clear plastic container, right by the register?  The really big thin kind that you have to use the tongs to get.  That stuff’s goooood.

In fact, my next plan for world domination involves re-purposing my kitten-lasers to turn the world’s babies into beef jerky!  Which is more difficult than it sounds because they have to be cooked and flattened and covered with teriyaki sauce.  The flattening is easy–just gotta steal some steamrollers–but making the laser teriyaki-flavored was much more difficult than your bovine-flatus-obsessed brain could possibly comprehend!  (And mine, actually.  I subcontracted for the teriyaki laser.  I’ll give you the number for these guys, they can add teriyaki, ranch, or sour cream & chive flavoring to any world domination attempt.)

With zesty ranch wishes and teriyaki dreams (of world conquest),

–Eric