So, anyway, you seem a decent (if freakishly short) fellow.  I hate to die.  So your rehearsal idea sounds intriguing to me… It’s something we haven’t done in a long time.  But there are more important things at stake here than playing a few chords in a made-up key like F# major!  There is a planet to conquer, and cities to destroy!  It’s a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition!

Luckily, I have just located my copy of a little-known viola sonata by Eric Zahn.  It is an appealing, accessible piece, and if played correctly, it can summon elder demons and such from the nether realms.  So here goes!  I really hope A’chaghoshaac, the blood-soaked devourer from the woods with a thousand eyes, shows up.  I haven’t seen him in a while.  We used to get up to such shenanigans, A’chaghoshaac and I… Ah, memories.  Like this one time in high school, we paid a homeless guy to buy us some beer, and then after he got it for us, A’chaghoshaac ate him!  Heh heh heh.  A’chaghoshaac…what a card.

You know, I just had a thought.  We should do more songs that summon greater eldrich powers from the less respectable dimensions.   I mean, when we play “I Hate Everyone,” we’re lucky if we even get Bhailolei, the tiny nuisance from below with upwards of four spawn.  And I think one time when we played “I’ll Come Around,” I caught a glimpse of Tlogarhogyub, the slovenly irritant from the abyss who always wants to borrow money.  Glad he didn’t stick around.  So can we work on that?  That way we can combine rehearsal and world conquest into a very efficient, goal-oriented, purpose-driven upper management paradigm.

Have fun storming the castle,

–Eric