Eric, you jerk! I was in the middle of summoning Nyarlathotep to do my bidding when you co-summoned him. And now he’s basically caught in a limbo between your place and mine. Dammit. And on my side is his great, stench-producing, noxious-miasma emitting ass. And phew, does it reek. You jerk! I wish you a summer in the bowels of Cthulhu’s most foetid and rank pits of slurry and vomit. Not that Cthulhu’s known for having foetid pits of slurry and vomit, but considering that he’s such a loathsome figure, you have to assume he’s got at least one or two.

Anyhow. Where was I? Oh yeah! You jerk! I was in the middle of summoning Nyarlathotep because Teresa’s neighbors have these goddamn dogs that start barking at 6:00 in the fucking morning. I mean, seriously. All I want ‘Tho’, which is short for Nyarlathotep, that’s what me and all his homies call him, but I just want ‘Tho’ to face-rape those dogs just enough to make them think twice about barking. Like, you know the way dogs get when they really want to do something but can’t and so they just slightly whimper? Yeah, that’s the amount of face-raping I want to happen. And considering that you’re RapeFace, maybe you could fill in for me, Eric, if ‘Tho’ isn’t up for it.

Well, that’s it for me. I need to go kill something. Something small. And defenseless. Like a baby. Or a kitten. I need to feel evil again. Work has really driven all of the evil right out of me. Or rather, it’s a different kind of evil. It’s the sort of evil that keeps you trapped in traffic for 2 hours each way, to and from work. Now that’s evil.

With the lurching of cars stuck in traffic,

Mike TV

One Response to “Nyarlathotep! Or ‘Tho’ to his friends.”