Frightening Ice Cream Van.
Author: erics
The other day I was driving home from work, and I got stuck behind what was ostensibly an ice cream van. The sign on the back said:
WARNING! AND
CHILDREN CROOSSING
Which made me think a little. First of all, it was amusing that there was just a general “WARNING!” Just “Be careful in general!” But in addition to that, I was apparently supposed to beware of children that may be “croossing.” It seemed pretty obvious to me that “croossing” is some abbreviated new youth-slang for “crucifying.” As in, “Jimmy stole my lunch money, so we’re totally gonna crooss him at recess.” And the ice cream truck was right; if there are bands of children running around crucifying people, I think I’d probably do well to steer clear of them. In addition to just generally being careful.
This advice was tempered a little by the appearance of the van itself, which looked less suited for ice cream sales than for kidnapping. I have a feeling the back of the van was probably just filled with buckets of chloroform. Then again, maybe the van was outfitted to round up and imprison roving underage crucifixion gangs, in which case, thanks, frightening ice cream van! You’re doing a public service. And I will be careful.
–Eric
Posted in Blogs and other silly nonsense
Damn them kids….Always taking the lunch money and such
Luckily, “ice cream” season is ending.
Not in LA it ain’t…
Since I am all for “croossing” kid gangs I will be purchasing a slushie van. It’ll be purple and green, the official colors of “croossing” gangs everywhere. On the back it will read “WARNING!!! Ice may be cold!” Which will let all gang members know not to crucify people name Jimmy.
Purple and green? So Barney the dinosaur AND Devastator (of the Decepticons) are both members of croossing gangs? I had no idea!
Good thing you took your boots off at the door, or they’d be shaking.