Well, sounds like our Michael is working pretty hard up there in the Bay Area.  And I can’t say I don’t sympathize, because “working hard” and I have always had a pretty uneasy relationship.  Sort of like two boxers circling each other in the ring, each one pretty well convinced that the other has bricks or spikes in his glove.  (As a side note, “mangled metaphors” and I have always had a really solid relationship.  A sort of going-and-getting-the-other-guy-a-beer-from-the-fridge-even-if-he-hasn’t-asked-for-one, loaning-out-my-box-set-of-Black Books relationship.)

What was I talking about?  Oh yes, since Mike is so busy, I’m gonna post stuff as often as I can.  That was the crux. 

I mean, I guess I’ve sorta been doing that anyway.  I suppose this post is just basically notarizing that fact.  And the first thing I’d like to point out is that WordPress, this software we use to post these things, seems downright amiable today!  I never noticed this before, but when I sign in, it says “Howdy, erics!”  That is a damn decent greeting for a piece of software.  And howdy to you too, WordPress.

I think I’m rambling.  I’m alternating between typing words and reading the Fray trade paperback.  Maybe next time I’ll try to get through an entire post without mentioning something by Joss Whedon. 

–Eric

Hello. My name is Mike TV. I have a band. Sorta. It’s called Get Set Go. We have four records in stores. We have a new acoustic album that’s just sorta sitting around as I’ve been too busy to get it off the ground. I also have a side-project band called “i give” up. It’s a nice band, too. I used to make music for a living. Well, wait, scratch that. I used to try to make music for a living. And for a few years I actually managed to scrape by. But, alas, I am a working stiff now. And will be for the next year and a half. Ugh.

I just wanted to drop in and try my hand at writing a thing or two. I wish I had the time to think of something clever. Alas, clever is for people with time to think. I don’t have time. I have the inverse of time. What’s that called? You know, when you have no time. And the time that’s owed you is quickly getting spent by all of the things you need to do but just don’t have the time to do? Yeah, whatever that’s called, I have it.

Oh well. Good to talk to you again. I’ll try to write again. When, I’m not sure. Maybe before I die. Unless I get hit by a bus as I write this. *waits* … Nope. Okay, maybe later then.

With a resounding squawk from my squawk box,

Mike TV

I was watching Firefly last night, like I do every night, and in the commentary for the episode “Shindig,” Dylan from New Maximum Donkey got name-dropped as having designed Jayne’s t-shirts!  Which is awesome enough as it is, but Dylan later told me that his own face is featured on one of the shirts worn by the Hero of Canton.  I dunno about anybody else, but I think that is one of the coolest possible things.  Also, in Serenity, Jayne wears a Service Group shirt (Dylan’s other band). 

My life has a new purpose, far more important than dumb ol’ music: I am going to ensure that from this day forward, my face appears on every t-shirt worn by Jewel Staite, Summer Glau, Gina Torres, and Morena Baccarin. 

Did I mention that my viola’s name is Serenity?  Because it is.

–Eric

So, I had my technical training for being on the radio last night.  And despite the fact that when I’m around technology I kinda resemble one of the monkeys from 2001 (not the one that figures out how to use the bone, the one that gets hit on the head with it), I think I have a pretty good grasp of what to do. 

What does this mean?  Well, it means that starting in September, everyone will be able to hear me on internet radio (and, by extension, podcasts), playing music from the Square Tire bands and other bands from our scene.  There will also be banter which is probably only amusing to me, delivered in the orotund, melifluous tones of what I’ve been told is a very good radio voice.  No, wait, face.  They said my face is good for radio.  Probably means the same thing.

–Eric

This whole “keeping-new-content-on-our-Square-Tire-blog” is just impossible. I mean, I’m just too busy, too lazy, and too tired all the time to write meaningless drivel every day. Just look at the words coming out of my mouth. Nonsense. Wait…did I just say words coming out of my mouth? I’m not speaking. I’m writing. Obviously I’m going insane.

Well, I think I’m going to attempt to write a couple more times over this weekend. But I’m not making any promises. So don’t hold me to it. I’m serious. I don’t want to hear any stories about how there were whole parties that got together huddling around the computer, waiting, hoping, and praying for another silly blog post by Mike TV.

I do miss you guys however. Be good.

With the shavings of many feral cats,

Mike TV

OK, OK, I know it can be annoying and a little embarrassing to overlap demon summoning like that… Especially when there are barking dogs at stake.  But, really, why did that necessitate hitting me with a Splinted Shin Curse?  I’m assuming that was a Mike TV special and not a result of running a couple of miles to House of Nanking 10 minutes before they closed, wearing only my Eric Summer signature-series black Converse for arch support.

In any case, I have shin splints.  And since shin splints outweigh demon summonus interruptus in the annoying department, I think I’m gonna have to make up the balance and even the scales a bit.  I’m thinking maybe a Slight Bloody Nose hex or a Paper Cut Curse will make us even.  Or a Shitty Traffic on the Way To Work spell.

No, wait!  I have it!  Since I know you and Sarah go to every movie that comes out, several times, I think it’s gonna have to be a Some Noisy Douchebag Talking Through the Entire Movie jinx.  So rest assured, some time in the future when you go to a movie, some noisy douchebag will be talking through the entire thing.  It’s gonna be so annoying! And you’ll have no idea which movie it will be!  It could be Transformers: Fall of the Risen, or Transformers: Armageddon, or Transformers: the Transformening, or even Transformers vs. Go-Bots: Requiem for Turbo!  That’s all the movies they make anymore, right?  Shitty Transformers movies?  I’m pretty sure that’s the only kind of movie people can go see these days.  Anyway, prepare for slight scale-balancing douchebag-talking magical retribution!

–Eric

Eric, you jerk! I was in the middle of summoning Nyarlathotep to do my bidding when you co-summoned him. And now he’s basically caught in a limbo between your place and mine. Dammit. And on my side is his great, stench-producing, noxious-miasma emitting ass. And phew, does it reek. You jerk! I wish you a summer in the bowels of Cthulhu’s most foetid and rank pits of slurry and vomit. Not that Cthulhu’s known for having foetid pits of slurry and vomit, but considering that he’s such a loathsome figure, you have to assume he’s got at least one or two.

Anyhow. Where was I? Oh yeah! You jerk! I was in the middle of summoning Nyarlathotep because Teresa’s neighbors have these goddamn dogs that start barking at 6:00 in the fucking morning. I mean, seriously. All I want ‘Tho’, which is short for Nyarlathotep, that’s what me and all his homies call him, but I just want ‘Tho’ to face-rape those dogs just enough to make them think twice about barking. Like, you know the way dogs get when they really want to do something but can’t and so they just slightly whimper? Yeah, that’s the amount of face-raping I want to happen. And considering that you’re RapeFace, maybe you could fill in for me, Eric, if ‘Tho’ isn’t up for it.

Well, that’s it for me. I need to go kill something. Something small. And defenseless. Like a baby. Or a kitten. I need to feel evil again. Work has really driven all of the evil right out of me. Or rather, it’s a different kind of evil. It’s the sort of evil that keeps you trapped in traffic for 2 hours each way, to and from work. Now that’s evil.

With the lurching of cars stuck in traffic,

Mike TV

I’m sure by now, hundreds of thousands of people are wondering where I am.  I’m sure throngs of people are lined up outside Square Tire Headquarters asking, “Where’s that guy that posts Get Set Go blogs?  You know, the one who’s not Mike TV.  I think he plays the cello or something.  He hasn’t posted any ramblings for me to not care about in over a week!”  And there’s probably much wailing and lamentation.  Well, I’ll tell you where I’ve been.

See, in about a week, Get Set Go is gonna play a show.  It’s the record release show for Adam Marsland’s Chaos Band.  They recorded a really great double album called “Go West,” and I played viola on two of the songs.  So not only am I playing with Get Set Go at that show, I’m also playing with AMCB that night.  And not ONLY only am I playing viola with AMCB that night, I am also playing piano, guitar, and Hammond organ with AMCB that night.  And singing.

So you see, I’ve been busy rehearsing with Adam’s band, and also brushing up on my secondary instruments.  I played piano for quite a while, and was actually pretty good at one point, and now I’m trying to get my keyboard chops back.  And I’ve been a sloppy, lazy guitar player for some time now, so I’m trying to get some guitar chops at all that I can use for playing the guitar.  I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s going to be an enormously fun show for everyone, and an enormously active show for me.  So if you like enormous fun, and/or want to see me be Mr. Multifacet (of the Boston Multifacets), then you should come to Brennan’s Pub in Marina Del Rey on July 31 at 8 pm.  Our friend Mike Schnee, AKA Chissum Worthington, will be opening.  Then Adam Marsland’s Chaos Band will play the entirety of their double album, comprising 23 songs, featuring me on a thousand or so different instruments (well, four).  And then Get Set Go will play.  And then maybe I’ll finish my beer and get some sleep.

Wow, did I just get through a blog without even one mention of demon-summoning?  Thank the great and all-powerful Nyarlathotep!

(Oops.)

–Eric

Have you ever noticed how life craps on you in direct inverse proportion to how desperately you don’t want it to? Like, if you really, really, really, really don’t want to run across someone that you don’t like at a party, you’re practically guaranteed that not only are they going to be there, but they’re going to hover around you the whole night? Not that I’m actually talking about any recent experience. That was the first example that came to my head. But really, why is it that the one thing that you most don’t want to happen, invariably, 100%-of-the-time happens?

Now, it could be that this is perhaps just because I’m expecting it to happen. It could actually be that perhaps my negative attitude is actually making it easier for this bullshit to happen. Sure, could be. I’m willing to acknowledge that there’s a lot about this universe that I don’t know. And maybe, just maybe, my poor attitude might be influencing things. But sheesh, I wasn’t born with a poor attitude. It was thrust upon me. By circumstance. You can only fail so many times before you start to think of yourself as a failure. I mean, in your heart of hearts. I’m not saying I feel like a failure, mind you. I’m just saying that I don’t really see myself winning any championships any time soon.

Now, can anyone tell me exactly how I get a fresh start? Is there a reset button on this machine? Or can I at least get a do-over? I mean, I just want things to be back on an even keel. I don’t even want any advantages. I just want things to feel like they’re not constantly in a state of decay. I want to go about my daily life without incurring an 800 dollar van repair, or a 600 dollar traffic ticket, or a 300 dollar medical bill, or without smashing my toe in the door, or banging my head on a shelf, or without arguing with anyone. If I could have one day. Just one. Just one pain free, joy-filled day…well….I think I’d die. Of happiness. Of course. It’d be just my luck.

Anybody know how to embed an mp3 on a page like, for instance, this one?  I bravely took a run at trying to upload a couple mp3s of little viola things to youtube (completely irrespective of any and all dangers to my own personal self!), for the purpose of posting them here… But alas, youtube did not want to play along at all.  And so I’ve exhausted my one idea.  I know I’ve seen little embeddable audio players before, but I have no idea how to get one of my own.  If I ever do, though, I’m going to name him Clancy and feed him fresh mp3s weekly.  We will be so happy together, little Clancy and I…

Anyway, if anybody has any ideas, let me know.  And pretend you’re explaining it to a child of about four years old, since that’s about the age of my technological aptitude.

–Eric