Posts Tagged ‘Free Download Music Sites’

Eric, you jerk! I was in the middle of summoning Nyarlathotep to do my bidding when you co-summoned him. And now he’s basically caught in a limbo between your place and mine. Dammit. And on my side is his great, stench-producing, noxious-miasma emitting ass. And phew, does it reek. You jerk! I wish you a summer in the bowels of Cthulhu’s most foetid and rank pits of slurry and vomit. Not that Cthulhu’s known for having foetid pits of slurry and vomit, but considering that he’s such a loathsome figure, you have to assume he’s got at least one or two.

Anyhow. Where was I? Oh yeah! You jerk! I was in the middle of summoning Nyarlathotep because Teresa’s neighbors have these goddamn dogs that start barking at 6:00 in the fucking morning. I mean, seriously. All I want ‘Tho’, which is short for Nyarlathotep, that’s what me and all his homies call him, but I just want ‘Tho’ to face-rape those dogs just enough to make them think twice about barking. Like, you know the way dogs get when they really want to do something but can’t and so they just slightly whimper? Yeah, that’s the amount of face-raping I want to happen. And considering that you’re RapeFace, maybe you could fill in for me, Eric, if ‘Tho’ isn’t up for it.

Well, that’s it for me. I need to go kill something. Something small. And defenseless. Like a baby. Or a kitten. I need to feel evil again. Work has really driven all of the evil right out of me. Or rather, it’s a different kind of evil. It’s the sort of evil that keeps you trapped in traffic for 2 hours each way, to and from work. Now that’s evil.

With the lurching of cars stuck in traffic,

Mike TV

Have you ever noticed how life craps on you in direct inverse proportion to how desperately you don’t want it to? Like, if you really, really, really, really don’t want to run across someone that you don’t like at a party, you’re practically guaranteed that not only are they going to be there, but they’re going to hover around you the whole night? Not that I’m actually talking about any recent experience. That was the first example that came to my head. But really, why is it that the one thing that you most don’t want to happen, invariably, 100%-of-the-time happens?

Now, it could be that this is perhaps just because I’m expecting it to happen. It could actually be that perhaps my negative attitude is actually making it easier for this bullshit to happen. Sure, could be. I’m willing to acknowledge that there’s a lot about this universe that I don’t know. And maybe, just maybe, my poor attitude might be influencing things. But sheesh, I wasn’t born with a poor attitude. It was thrust upon me. By circumstance. You can only fail so many times before you start to think of yourself as a failure. I mean, in your heart of hearts. I’m not saying I feel like a failure, mind you. I’m just saying that I don’t really see myself winning any championships any time soon.

Now, can anyone tell me exactly how I get a fresh start? Is there a reset button on this machine? Or can I at least get a do-over? I mean, I just want things to be back on an even keel. I don’t even want any advantages. I just want things to feel like they’re not constantly in a state of decay. I want to go about my daily life without incurring an 800 dollar van repair, or a 600 dollar traffic ticket, or a 300 dollar medical bill, or without smashing my toe in the door, or banging my head on a shelf, or without arguing with anyone. If I could have one day. Just one. Just one pain free, joy-filled day…well….I think I’d die. Of happiness. Of course. It’d be just my luck.